She surprised the nation with her intense confidence and salty flavor when she married her long time associated buddy and made the national news as India’s first Trans woman to legally marry. She speaks about her life to Woman Times through a candid conversation.
Since I had gained my senses I realized the fact that my body and soul are not in sync with each other. There exists a disparity, as the soul was feminine but the body contrasted it. It was the people surrounding me who made me realize that the difference exists. I am known as the nation’s first Trans woman married legally. When you ask me about my struggle in raising my voice in favor of my wants I will say Yes, I did struggle but in this respect, I think in an atypical manner on the issues of adverse reactions faced by the family members. Now, when I look back I can understand the psyche of the parents or family members who scold or beat up or behave rudely with their children on opening up their self to the world because they are afraid of the reaction of the world or the society who will push their children to the extreme isolation, if not worse than this. It is like when we are kids we get thwarted for not studying as that would pull us behind many individuals of tomorrow and desiring a safe and better life for children is a universal desire.
Now the scenario has changed to a certain extent as others, from this community, get a platform to voice their feelings and desires as I have proved the country that the LGBTQ community can be a part of the mainstream society and there is no reason to hold them back. If still, they do not open up it will be their unwillingness. I had a tough time still I was determined and certain about my emotions. The society was cruel to me but the journey was unwinding whilst Sanjay, my husband, was with me. We are not lovers or were not lovers but very best friends and it is a long relationship of 18 years which is full of care and protection that he has shown to me and also one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He protected me from the criticisms, eve-teasing, and others harassing social stuff. Gradually our relationship matured to the point we decided to marry each other. But again, Article 377 would not have allowed us to tie the knot hence I decided to change the sex nevertheless other reason being that I wanted my body to complement my female soul to go hand in hand what I felt. It is the same as if one loses one of his organs and wants to repair or replace it. And so I went through sex surgery which helped me leading proper womanhood.
There is a myth about the treatment of sex surgery that it is harmful but one can definitely benefit from the treatment if followed properly. There are side effects in everything if guidelines are ignored. For this, and of course other social work, I have formed Troyee Foundation. There are many people who are helpless and devoid of any proper earnings, I like imparting knowledge of vocational courses like beauty and makeup, handicrafts, jewelry making, etc. to equip the ones who are in dire need of earning bread and butter. I have been into many fields as diverse as acting, modeling, make-up artist, Lotus beauty therapist, and now as a social entrepreneur, I feel that we have certain duties towards the society while I keep extracting value from it in our daily life. My foundation is formed on similar lines to offer free courses on cooking, handicrafts, soft toy making, jewelry making et al.
I, being a woman, do support woman movements and feminism but on a universal note and I do not deny the fact that woman is created in a way that the opposite sex will be attracted and also believe that still, women are not free. If women are emancipated in the nation, we actually are not and this is evident when there is news about my marriage rather my struggle. Most individuals are driven by social influence and do not go by their own choice, more exactly that they are guided by the glamour and not a passion of their own. Every profession has its own dignity but one must give his or her proper due effort. I am questioned by most people on my existence before marriage but I vehemently reply to them that the time of things is done is not the main pulp of the story but that things are done is the focal point. I will be happy if the LGBTQ is legalized by the Government but my happiness will be only for the ones who genuinely belong to the Third Gender.
My message to the women reading this story is that – be a support to women. A woman is another woman’s foe in general terms Hon’ble Chief Minister, Mamata Banerjee, through the ‘Kanyashree Prokolpo’ has encouraged the defense education and other vocational courses for women, which is really inspiring and every girl should have this knowledge of self-defense. I personally have the desire to work for my community in these aspects and other too through the ‘Troyee Foundation’, which also promises to stand beside the LGBTQ community helping them in any regard and providing a solution.
Life is one and only taking from the society would create a void, hence to make the world a beautiful place we all must work together by giving back to the society, helping others and cleansing the minds of any impurities.
