Amrita Mishra
New Delhi
Finally, Peehu sleeps.
I stare around to find objects ranging from toys to books to cardboards to spoons to shoes to an infinite list of household products and pull my hair back in a bun with an intent to put them back into their respective places, only for Peehu to scatter them all again. As I mechanically go about it making mental notes about things that are done and things that have to be done before Peehu wakes up, I stumble upon a shoe and almost crash into the mirror.
Instead of walking away, as I mostly do, I take a moment, stand there and look into it. The ‘someone’ staring at me from the mirror is not somebody I was expecting to see. The last time I took such liberty to look at myself for so long was … long ago!
Few grey strands popping out through the black strands. My hair has grown quite long but is utterly shapeless and tangled. My eyebrows haven’t been threaded in months and have grown in different directions and look like I will need a land mower to shape it up again. I have dark circles under my eyes. My skin looks dehydrated, dull and tired and begging miserably for a cleanup. My arms and legs would love to be waxed and pampered. My weight, well better not mention how losing some pounds could go a long way.
My kurta is stained at places, the food Peehu wiped on it, milk stains vividly showing. The legging has a few loose strings and is no match with the kurta I’m wearing. I look deplorable.
Inspecting around – the beds are done, the dishes are washed, lunch is cooked, the feeding bottles are sterilised, clothes are in the machine, the floor is mopped, just a few things to put into place and the house will look glossy clean.
Most of the things on the to-do list that I make first thing in the morning every day are ticked off. The keys, the files, the cheques, the clothes are all well organised and I could find them with my eyes closed.
Everything is well maintained and almost every chore is done. The only negligence that I allow is regarding me.I don’t remember the last time I dressed up, went for a dinner date with my husband, chatted over a cup of coffee or even met friends over dinner.
I change my clothes. Wear something that has been freshly laundered. Comb my hair and tie a neat ponytail. Wash my face and apply some moisturiser. I look at the mirror and smile, not only because I look a tad better but also because I see Peehu standing behind me with her two front teeth showing.
Motherhood is wonderful. The joys that I have experienced after I have been blessed with Peehu in my life are inexplicable but I do miss the carefree laughter, the mindless wanderings, the leisure to read a book at peace, the freedom of not having to worry about anything at all.
I could very well do with a day off.
