Ramana (fictitious character) is all wet in tears while narrating her story…a piece from her life on her contemplation of suicide and the return from it to battle the hurdles of life.
A rainy evening and a hollowed mind, crying to the music of loneliness. I was all set for the act, prepared the note without impugning any soul and said the last ‘Good Bye’ to my puppies kissing them hard. I was feeling a sense of detachment towards everything around me and was assured of my liberation soon. Liberation! From pain, from criticisms; liberation from failure and the volcanic suffocation. Few memories flashed through my mind before the final call; it was the bad moments that nourished my heart adding worthiness to my act.
Everything was set; I could sense insensitiveness numbed my rationality. Selfish escaping from problems had been my priority and thus began the journey of ‘Escapism’. People called me a ‘dejected soul’ and helped me slide into the tunnel of fictitious world of ‘Depression’. I imagined good times when heard of Modiji’s ‘acche din aane wale hain’ but failed in the attempt. Shrugging off all the doubts and memories I was all set for the amazing journey called ‘DEATH’.
A cry shrilled through my ears as I turned back my three year old son was awake and frightened calling me for his food. I came up to him and realised the disaster I was up to. Questions shook me hard about my motherhood – the best part of being me – I reincarnated myself; I had been a warrior, a cancer survivor and a woman who is always supposed to be at the service in the best way she can with an evergreen smile. I was again ready for the battle of life this time to win.
